What's On Your Mind?
To ask a question follow the instructions over in the right sidebar.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

My Husband and Son, What to Do??

Dear Sadie,

How do I get my point across to my husband that he needs to act like the adult in his relationship with our oldest son (14 years old)? The two of them constantly butt heads, and my hubby acts as immature as our son during the battles. I'm always the peace maker, and I don't think that's right or fair to me. I want the two of them to work on their relationship, but every time I discuss this with my husband, he gets mad because he thinks I'm not backing him up. I'm torn between being a good wife who supports her husband and a good mom who protects her child's feelings and self-esteem. Help!

Oh boy, does this one hit close to home for me. When my son was younger, he and his dad did almost everything together. However, the older he got, the less they seemed to have in common. This bothered both of them and they didn't know how to relate. Often times, they argued like they were peers or completely ignored each other. Honestly, I think it might be a common issue.

You are right to know that you should not be the peace maker all the time as it will seem as if you are taking sides. I think I say this every time, but this conversation with your husband needs to happen during a "neutral" time, not when there has been recent conflict between the two of them. Could you suggest some activities that they might enjoy doing together? Does your son talk with you about this? Does he mention that it bothers him?

As a Christian I believe that your husband must come first. That can sure be hard. Pray, pray and pray some more that God would give you all wisdom. That God would build the relationship that He wants between your son and your husband.

Your family is blessed to have you!

If any of you reading have any experience with this or have some words of advice, please leave a comment!

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Sadie Needs Your Help!

Hi all,

As you know this blog is a place to come and ask for advice/opinions. Kind of hard to have a blog without your questions. Go over to the right sidebar and follow the instructions there under "have a question".

Now...I have a couple of random questions that have been asked and I am going to open this up to all of YOU to answer them. I'm not giving one opinion (yet). I might pop into the comment section with you at some point. Ok, here goes.


I have a friend who has terrible breath. I mean terrible. Should I tell her, do I ignore it? If I tell her, how do I do that? Thanks!

Here is another one...

Dear Sadie,

Is it ever okay to tell someone that their pantylines are showing? I have a co-worker who I don't think ever looks at her "backside" in a mirror. She and I really aren't close friends, but I think I would want someone to tell me if I looked like that. What do you think?

Alright ladies, please give your advice - I think it is desperately needed.

And don't forget to submit your own needs for advice!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

To Capri or Not to Capri

Dear Sadie,

I would like to get other women's advice/opinions about this issue. I've heard that you need to be a certain height in order to wear capris - is that true? I love them, but I am shorter. Any help?

Great question because I want to know the answer to this one. I have also heard that if you are less than 5'5" you should not wear capris. The past few days my daughter and I have been shopping and when I try on bermudas or capris, she will immediately say "too long"!! I thought they looked fine but I am believing my stylish 13 year old.

So...I just did a little research and here are a couple things I will pass on to you. Besides the fact that everyone has their own opinion.

Capris should not be tapered (you will look an ice cream cone)
The right length for capris is mid-calf.
Do not wear skinny capris unless you are very tall and slim.

I have a friend who wears "manpris".....NOT GOOD!!

What do the rest of you think??

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Teen's Self Esteem

Hi Sadie,I was wondering if you have any thoughts on how to help a teenager build self-confidence? Are there any christian books that you are aware of that a young teen would benefit from?

I have a daughter in her early teens and she is struggling right now. She has been exceptionally quiet for weeks, if not months now, and finally tonight, she broke down. The situation is far too complicated to write out on here, but I do believe it all comes down to a low self-esteem and a fear of failing. Her dad and I are at a loss on how to help her. We have told her repeatedly that she can always talk to us, but I'm not sure what we say is of help. I know middle school is hard for so many, but it breaks my heart to see so much hurt in her.

What can I do as a parent to help her? Thanks for any advice you may have.

YUCK, I did not like middle school!!

Okay, now that that is out of the way...your daughter is so blessed to have you and your husband to talk with. Although, as you say, you're not sure that what you say really helps. Kids usually think that we "have" to say nice things 'cuz we are the parents. In her head, all the things that you say to her would sure sound better coming from one of her peers.

Low self esteem is at the root of so many issues for teens. Does she feel like she excels at anything? Is there something that you can encourage her to put her energy into? You don't say if she has close friends, but even having just one really good buddy can make all the difference in the world. I am sure you do this already - but encourage her to have friends over and encourage this often. Maybe she is afraid to invite anyone for fear that she will be turned down. It's likely to happen, but not EVERY time. (Shoot I am still afraid that my friends will turn me down.)

I have said this before about other subjects, but try talking when there aren't any "issues". In other words - not when she is having a break down. See if you can weave discussions about what is going well, what she enjoys, friendships, self esteem, etc into your normal talk time. And keep these discussions short and sweet!

Because I am a Christian, I always want to tell others to pray. Sometimes we use prayer as a last resort, but where our children are concerned we should be on our knees daily. These are tough years for them! I am also a firm believer in good, solid counseling!!

I wish I knew of some books to recommend. I also wish I really had some real wisdom to share. Hopefully there are others out there that can share what has worked for them. Keep lovin' on your daughter. She has great value, she just needs to be able to believe that for herself.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

My Mother-in-Law Calls My Daughter "Fat Girl"

My mother-in-law (who is heavy herself) has this thing about calling the girls in the family nicknames that have to do w/fat. It infuriates me. My daughter is FOUR years old! A few weeks ago she called her fatty. I was FURIOUS & only b/c my husband had just had surgery & we were at the hospital did I not say anything. For starters, I am heavy & she has NEVER said anything like that to me, I assume b/c of respect. My daughter weighs 40 lbs. She's in the 25th percentile for her height & 50th for her weight. The Dr said it's a perfect mix b/c she's big boned so weighing anything less would make her look sickly and to be perfectly honest, she looks fine, she's 4. B/c of my weight, I'm very careful about what we bring home & what she eats only b/c if she makes the right choices now, hopefully she will as she gets older.Anyway, today my mil called her fat girl. I gritted my teeth & waited for my husband to get back in from taking the trash & said, we need to get going so we can get to the park. I asked him the last time to say something, I don't think I should have to b/c it's his mom. He of course doesn't want to upset her but agrees that is no way for his mom to talk to her.He has nieces that are now 17 & 13 & when they were younger, she did the same thing. I can remember when the oldest was 8 & came to stay the weekend w/us & I bought ice cream & pop corn & she said, I'm on a diet & I can't eat that. I thought OMG, her Dr put her on a diet..she was about 30 lbs over weight. So I said, oh I'm sorry, I didn't know that. She said, well Grandma & my mom keep telling me I need to lose weight & Uncle Tim calls me fat girl & I hate it. When I told my husband, he confronted his mom, sister & brother & their reply was - she knows we're only kidding. I do NOT want this to be daughter in 4 yrs, but I know my husband & his mom already have a rocky relationship - how do we talk to her w/o upsetting her?!

WHOA! What a touchy subject. My first reaction is that I would like to have a few words with your mother-in-law, but obviously that's not going to happen. You are wise in knowing that it should be your husband that speaks to her. I think you should be present so that you can hear all that is said.

It's important that she (your mil) understands you are not attacking her. You know that she loves her family and her grandchildren and maybe she isn't aware of the words she is using. Let her know how important it is that she is using words that build up your daughter.

If it's possible bring up the example of your niece and let your mil know that even though they might have been "kidding", your niece took it to heart. Obviously she does not want to be damaging her grandchild's self-esteem, but those words are doing just that.

Even though you didn't ask this question, I would like to say something else. It is very likely that your mother-in-law will not stop using this kind of talk around your daughter. That makes it even that much more important for you to help her have a good body image. Discussing weight (yours or anyone else's) is never a good idea. Kids need to be kids and not learning at an early age that their appearance defines them. It seems as if she is perfectly healthy and that you are helping by bringing good food choices into the home.

Your daughter is blessed to have you for a mom. As hard as it may be, don't let this put a wedge in your relationship with your mother-in-law. You and your husband have the greatest influence on your daughter right now - keep pouring into her!!

Okay, that's my two cents - does anyone else have any advice to offer??

Monday, May 11, 2009

Need My Husband's Help

Ok, so I am asking a question….more for 3 more entries for the giveaway, but also, would like someone else's opinion, who doesn't know me or my husband.

We recently welcomed our third baby…we have two older kids in school, and I work full-time outside of the home. My husband also works, but is technically laid off right now. He is doing some work here and there to make up the income.

Yes, he works in construction and has a labor intensive job, so he's usually tired when he comes home, plus, he's 41, so he thinks he's falling apart. The thing is, though, that's all he does when he gets home. Ok, well, he does cook dinner, but I usually end up cleaning up afterwards. I do all the laundry (for 5 people, washing, drying, folding AND putting it away), I do ALL the cleaning (dusting, vacuuming, scrubbing bathrooms/ kitchen counters, etc., organizing, putting things away, cleaning out the mail, etc). I feel that I do more than my share of any house work and that I have to ask him to do something. I have to remind him on garbage days, I have to ask him to give the kids a bath if I'm feeding the baby, etc. On top of all that, I am nursing, so right now, besides having to take the time to pump just so he can feed him, I am the only one feeding the baby and getting up in the middle of the night. I am so exhausted and just feel like he's taking advantage of me. I hate having to ask him to do anything, I shouldn't have to ask, but if I don't, he doesn't do a thing. Can't he see that there is dog hair all over the dining room floor? Can't he see that there are two laundry baskets of clean clothes that are already folded and need to be put away? He doesn't ever act like the mess and chaos bothers him, so if I leave it, it doesn't stress him out like it does me. Now, he's all over me because he wants to bring the intimacy back into our lives; always saying and doing things to try to let me know that he's ready. BUT, after all of this, I'm so exhausted, angry, fed-up, stressed out, that sex is the very last thing on my mind. I do everything I can to avoid having sex with him because of all these emotions I'm feeling. When I tell him I'm just too tired, he acts like I'm the worst person in the world because I'm too tired to be with him. But, if I tell him what's really bothering me he acts like I just said "I'm the only person who works around here" and then gets defensive because he works all day, and does more physical work in one day than I do in one week….but, just because I sit at a desk all day, doesn't mean that I'm not totally exhausted (mentally) at the end of the day.

Ok, so I guess, I don't have a question here, but need some advice as to how to work this into the conversation and discuss it rationally with my husband, of 9 years….
There you have it… Thanks.

You certainly have your hands full!! First of all, I commend you for recognizing there is an issue and wanting to know how to address it with him. So many wives just "go after" their husbands, telling them all that they are doing wrong. That is NOT the way to communicate. I need to tell you that much of what you describe would be pretty typical of men. (that is NOT bashing men) They don't read minds and really do want to and need to be told what you expect.

Sure, we would like them to know our needs and just meet them - but it doesn't work like that. I've said this before, never have a conversation in the heat of an argument or when your emotions are running high. Sometime when you and your husband are just enjoying some quiet time (I know, dont' laugh) let him know how you are feeling and the importance of his contribution around the house.

Oh...about the "sex". Hate to tell ya but it really is necessary for the man to feel loved this way. The more loved he feels this way, the more likely he is to meet your needs. That is not manipulation, just the facts.

Women with children...please do not leave here without giving our sister some help!!

Thanks for writing in, I pray that you feel appreciated.

Friday, May 8, 2009

How to Help My Friend

Hi Sadie,

A close friend of my was recently diagnosed with cancer, I wanted to know if you know how I can start a fund for her to help her with the everyday bills and rent? I have no idea how to start this...any ideas?

First of all, I am so sorry to hear of your friend's diagnosis. I'm glad she has someone like you in her life who is wanting to reach out, help and DO something.

Unfortunately, I don't know specifically how you go about setting up a fund for someone. In the past I have been involved in raising funds for people and setting up a bank account for a family that went through a fire. We held various fundraisers, gathered donations, etc.

Sounds like you may want to do something a little more long term? If any of you reading this have any ideas to share...please do!

I pray that your friend gets all the help that she needs.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Tattle Tale

My question has to do with squabbling children. What's the best course of action to take when the tattling takes over? I get so tired of being the referee.

Tattling! Yuck! Always one of my pet-peeves.

In our home when the kids were younger this was the deal. Unless there is throw up or blood or someone is in danger, do not come running to tell mom and dad!

If they did come and tattle then they there were the one to receive the consequence. This way they knew it was to their advantage to try and work out the problem themselves. How many times a day can we hear that "Bobby took my toy", "She's touching me"!?

Moms and dads...what has worked in your homes?

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Money Tips

What are some tips on saving money (other than coupons right now) during this “economic” situation? I mean right now we are living pay check to pay check and we really have never had to live that way. It’s just awful! Thanks for the advice!

I love this question because I am hoping many others will pipe in with their advice too. Times sure are tough for most people out there!

There are several things that we all should be doing just to make sure that we aren't paying too much for some of our necessities. Call your insurance companies and make sure you have the proper coverage for homeowners, rental, autos, etc. Often we are paying more than we need to.

Keep asking for the best deals from all utilities. You can get better deals if you are persistent. If you have credit cards - do the same thing with them. Often you can get a better rate.

Planning meals is key. The fewer times you have to go to the grocery store, the more money you will save. Obviously, it goes without saying that if money is tight the eating out should be very limited. I TRY to make multiples meals at one time. One for dinner and one to freeze. The last time at the store, I told my daughter that we would not put one thing in the cart unless it was on sale. We did it!

Sell things you don't need. There are several places online that you can sell and people will buy just about anything.

I do not assume that everyone that reads this blog shares the same faith as I do but I will say that for me the most important thing is for me to remember that the money is really from the Lord. Yes, it has been earned through a lot of hard work, but essentially it is God that is providing it. Be a good steward of what He has given.

Alright, there's my two cents, now it's time for you all to pipe in. Start piping...

Friday, May 1, 2009

Cloth or Disposable??

Cloth diapering? I have NO idea if I should do this, not do this & if I do, how to do this... I've seen a lot of people going this route..w/my first we did the disposable. I would love to be more 'green' (haha insert gross baby poo joke here) but I honestly don't know how you go about w/the cleaning of these things..I could see myself just throwing them away which would ruin the whole cloth diaper vs disposable debate. Any advice?

Oh my goodness, you are asking the wrong person here!! I tried cloth diapering with my first child for about 2 seconds! It was not gonna happen. I just couldn't do it.

I know it is the right thing to do for the environment and it's probably even better for the babies. There are so many women out there now who are cloth-diapering again. Maybe some of them read this and can help you out.

You said something that is exactly like me. "I could see myself throwing them away". I take the easy way out with lots of things and I have been known to throw out pans that sat in the fridge too long, rather then clean them. I am NOT the one to give advice on diapering.

Okay, girls....can you help her out with some real advice??


Thursday, April 30, 2009

My Son is LAZY

Here's my question.....My son is completely lazy!! He's in his early 20's and refuses to as much as take out the trash. I have always gladly cooked for him, cleaned for him, done his laundry, but lately I'm getting extremely tired of his attitude and his smart mouth telling me "he's not going to do that". He goes out of his way to 'find' something he needs to do when it's time to cut the grass or anything else that needs to be done. Now I find out that these emergencies away from home are all lies. I'm fed up! He has a full time job making his own money - none of which goes for groceries or any other necessity at home. When is it time for kids to move on and any suggestions on how that conversation should be handled?

When is it time for kids to move on????? How about yesterday!! Sorry to be so blunt, but he is not a kid any more, he is an adult. Sounds like he has been a bit spoiled and coddled. (no offense to you, of course)

I don't know what it's like to have grown children, so who knows that I might not do the same thing. But my first reaction is that he needs to get out on his own and do for himself. It really is for his benefit as well. How will he ever learn life skills if he's not forced to?

IF he cannot get out on his own then he at least needs to have some boundaries as to what is expected at home. Money towards groceries. Chores he is responsible for. Respectful behavior towards the rest of the family. If he can't live within the boundaries then he is choosing to leave.

The conversation needs to happen when there hasn't been any "friction". It should be at a time when everyone is just hanging out and brought up casually. I don't believe in the "we need to talk" approach. That just sets off people's defenses. You don't say if you are a single parent or if your spouse would back you up on this. I don't know if there are other kids in the home. IF you have a spouse, you both need to be on the same page. And my advice is not to discuss this in front of other children.

Hoping you're able to talk with him soon.

Alright, there's my two cents, now it's time for you all to pipe in. Start piping...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

My Mother-in-Law Has Alzheimer's

Dear Sadie,

My MIL is 85 years old, has Alzheimer's and lives with my hubby and I. We are contemplating placing her in a Alzheimer's home. Should we do it?

Bless your heart for all you are doing for your mother-in-law. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for everyone!

Is the situation becoming too much for the two of you to handle on your own? Is it causing strife at home? Does your mother-in-law need more medical care?

These are all questions that come to my mind. Honestly, I see nothing wrong with getting her into a facility that is suited to care for someone with Alzheimer's. (Even if you are still able to care for her in your home) You should feel no guilt for considering this! I would hope if there are other family members, that they would give you their full support in whatever decision is made.

Maybe there are other readers out there who have been in similar situations and can encourage you. Whatever choice you make, you are to be commended for all that you have done!!


Tuesday, April 28, 2009

And the Winner Is...

Thank you all so much for participating in my giveaway! It was so much fun to have many new faces join in here. The winner (drawn the old fashioned way) is....

You all should go visit Sue's blog! Even though I am far from a farm girl, every time I visit her blog, Where Memories Are Made, I want to go move in with them. Congratulations!

I received lots of great questions. I will answer one of them below and hope to do one or two a day for the next couple weeks. Thanks again!

My Friend Knows it All

Dear Sadie,

My friend acts like she knows it all. Every time I say something she seems to know better. I really enjoy spending time with her. How do I tell her this offends me? I don't have many close friends so I really don't want to lose this one.

Ouch, this is a toughie!! I'm not sure if your friend is correcting things you say or if she is just opinionated and has something to add to everything. Either way it would bug me, but it's a pretty touchy subject to bring up.

If she is truly hurting your feelings by her behavior then I think you need to let her know. How to do that? Hmmm....

Next time she "corrects" you, let her know that it hurts your feelings (bothers you) and tell her that you are okay with being wrong about certain things unless she thinks you're at danger! Make sure she understands how much you value her friendship and you know she probably doesn't even realize that she's doing this to you.

Unfortunately, there are just certain friends that you have to do a "hidden eye-roll" and live with their behavior. They aren't going to change. The value of the friendship outweighs the annoyance of their actions.

There must be several of you reading this can help this reader out. What advice do you have?

Friday, April 24, 2009

How About a Giveaway??

No, I am not ashamed to give something away in order to produce more traffic on this blog!! How else will people find out about it unless they are "drawn" to it??

So...here is the deal. I will be giving away a $50 gift card from the winner's choice of Target or Amazon.com. Yes, that is FIFTY BUCKS!!

You have multiple chances to enter. Please leave a separate comment for each entry.

#1 simply leave a comment to this post for one entry

#2 for another entry start following - if you are already following you can leave that comment also

#3 grab my button and put it on your blog (once you do so, come back and let me know that you grabbed my button)

#4 write about this giveaway on your blog (don't forget to come back and tell me)

#5 for 3 more entries leave me a question by going here!! That is what this blog is all about after all. However, you won't be able to leave the question anonymously, since I will need to be able to enter you 3 times. (I do not publish your name when I answer your questions)

If you don't have a blog, you are still welcome to enter - just remember to leave your name in each entry.

So that is 7 chances to win a $50 gift card!! Contest will end at midnight EST on Monday, April 27th.

A little free advice for you all today: Be grateful!! Yep, that's it - isn't that profound?

Now get going....

Sunday, April 19, 2009

To See Him or Not To See Him

Dear Sadie,

My ex husband is trying to insert himself back into my daughters life. We have been divorced for 24 years. He hasn't had any contact with her in the past 5 years. He came to my house looking for information on how to contact her. My now husband thinks she should try to make amends with her biological dad but I disagree. She is 29 years old and there is a lot of pain still there from the past. She really doesn't want anything to do with him. We don't want her to have any regrets. Do you have any advice for this situation?

Such tough place for everyone to be in! I must say that I agree with your husband. I believe she should do whatever it takes to make amends. At least she should "try". That way she won't have any regrets.

Someone very close to me left his daughter when she was 3 and did not see her again for 17 years! I worked hard to get them to see each other because I knew how much pain he was in. Their first meeting was awkward and uncomfortable. It was necessary. Is there a relationship now? Nope. That makes me very sad. BUT his daughter at least knows there was a desire on his part, the initial contact has been made and it's up to the two of them where to take it from here.

Your daughter is 29. Obviously you love her very much and want to protect her. As a grown woman I am sure she is able to make good decisions. I would encourage her to make contact with her dad at the very least and hopefully there can be some healing.

If there are others of you out there with some advice to give, please share...

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Notice Me Too

Dear Sadie,

I have a younger sister who everyone just loves. She's funny, outgoing, compassionate, talented, brave, and completely lovable. Sadly, I have almost none of those qualities. I'm shy, sarcastic, to some I probably look cold, and I have a whole lot of qualities that make others (even family) give my sister attention so much more. I'm a singer and I want to go into acting/singing but everyone tells my sister how wonderful she is and how amazing she'd be on shows like American Idol and being a Hollywood movie star when she's older...but that's something I want to pursue. (In case you're wondering, I am a teenager. No older.)

I know it's important to be yourself but how can I get attention being me? Should I work on trying bolder things? Try to change myself? Any advice you can give would be great. Thanks.

Oh, I am so glad to hear from a teen!! Love your question and love that you're willing to seek opinions from others. I bet there are lots of people out there that can relate. Maybe not wanting to sing and act, but feeling some "comparison" with siblings.

You ask a couple of really great questions. One of them, should you try to change yourself? To be honest, there are few things in the way you described yourself that lead me to believe that you're not happy with a couple of things about yourself. You say you are sarcastic and to some you probably look cold. You are describing ME!! I never felt like I fit in and to cover it up I was sarcastic and I did not talk easily with others. They thought I was a snob. Since you are aware of this, that would be the one thing I would try to work on. Try as hard as you can to be a bit more bold, fight the shyness and show people what it is that you love about yourself.

I imagine you are a very bright, outgoing, lovable person that just needs to take a leap of faith and show your "real" self. If you want to go after those things in life - being a singer/actor - GO FOR IT!! Don't let anything stop you.

We all crave attention. Even us "old people". But be sure that you're getting and attracting the right kind. Be yourself. Be your BEST self! Teen years are tough. I have a feeling you're going to be a great success. Hope you will keep in touch and keep asking questions.

What do the rest of you think? Let's help her out...

Monday, April 13, 2009

Maritial Problems - Do I Speak Up?

Dear Sadie,

My daughter and her husband have started having marital problems. It seems that he is infatuated with a married woman at work. He secretly e mails and texts her. The married woman encourages it, knowing my daughter will find out, then she plays innocent. My daughter has threatened to leave if this doesn't stop but he begs her not to. As her mother, do you think I should remain quiet or kick his butt all across the state? It is very hard watching my daughter be mistreated.

WOW! First of all I am sorry that your daughter is going through this. What heartache this must be causing her. Obviously, as her mom you are feeling that pain right along with her. That is a hard question to answer as far as what your role should be. Does your daughter want you involved? Is she sharing things with you? Will you be able to forgive him if everything works out between your daughter and husband some day?

If your daughter was fine with you talking to her husband then I would say "go for it". It would take a lot of restraint to remain calm and encourage him to do what is right. I don't know if you're one who prays, but I know that would be the number one thing for me to do before I would even begin to open my mouth. I have a habit of speaking my mind before I think.

Even though you didn't ask about this I would like to say that I hope your daughter is able to set some boundaries. Letting him know what is okay and what is not okay in their marriage. How she expects to be treated as a wife. Old saying - but we teach others how to treat us. I am never one to advise someone to divorce but I do believe in seeking good counsel and possibly separating if that could bring some healing.

I'm sure there are others out there with some wisdom to share...please share it!!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

To Tattoo or Not to Tattoo

Go Sadie!!!! I love it! Here's my question though.

Where is one place you should absolutely, positively not get a tattoo?

Love, Lila

Oh "Lila".......have you been spying on me lately? Do you know my secret? This question is very timely. I will just let you all wonder why.

Anyway, to answer your question I believe there are a few places that one should never get a tattoo. The first would be the forehead ('nuff said). The other place would be on the breast, unless of course you don't mind your tattoo becoming LONGER as you age!! Not a pretty sight!

I know you didn't ask about my opinion of tattoos in general, but I am gonna give it. Really I believe that if someone wants a tattoo, it should be in an area that can be easily covered up. You're going to be living with it the rest of your life. It should have some special significance to you. AND it should not be done just to draw attention to yourself.

If someone were to perhaps get "beauty from ashes" tattooed on their foot - OH I think that would be absolutely lovely!!!!!!

Thoughts on tattooing???

Monday, April 6, 2009

My Friend is More Than Needy

Dear Sadie - I am blessed with many friends and I love each and every one of them. I also feel as if I'm a loyal, compassionate person that these friends know that they can turn to in times of trouble. But one of these friends has begun to suffocate me lately. What do you do about someone that seems to sing the blues constantly? Who doesn't seem happy unless they are bringing drama to the table? You try to be their cheerleader and perk them up, show them the sunny side, but they prefer to wallow in all that's wrong with life. You know the type, glass half empty. Any advice?

Oh boy!!! First of all, it sounds like you are a great friend. Probably everyone knows they can come to you and you will always listen. As someone who is usually pretty upbeat myself I struggle with those who "sing the blues". I am not saying that as friends we shouldn't be a safe place for others to vent, but I do tire of hearing about ALL of their problems.

Probably you've tried all of these things but here are some suggestions. I would try to turn conversations around and point out the positive. Sometimes I might even ignore a comment instead of feeding into what they are saying. There are those people who do not want to be "cheered up" and maybe the more cheering you do, the more she we won't want to share with you! Ok, that just sounds mean, but hopefully you know what I'm saying.

Hate to say this, but there are certain people that I end up simply ignoring. I tire of hearing the same issues over and over. Life is very hard for most people, but we don't need for that to be our focus. As a Christian I can pray for that friend that she would seek God's guidance more than mine,but in the end it's up to her to choose where her focus is. These friendships can become toxic and I personally believe it's okay to distance yourself.

I know I've been no help whatsoever! Hopefully there are others out there with more wisdom than I have today.

Alright, there's my two cents, now it's time for you all to pipe in. Start piping...

Saturday, April 4, 2009

A Hairy Deal

Dear Sadie,

I have heard that as you get older you shouldn't continue to wear long hair. Do you agree that there is a certain age that women should start wearing their hair shorter?

Great question! Honestly when I first read it I immediately thought "that's right, older women should NOT wear long hair"! But where did that thought come from? I think it came from my mother. She always told me that.

So, in thinking it through for myself, here is my opinion. Most women probably do look better with their hair shorter as they age. I'm not talking about everyone has to have a pixie, but often long hair can age you and make your face drawn out. However, I have several friends who carry off the long hair very well and I think they know when it's time to get a little shorter. And what is "older" anyway? I am talking in circles here!

For the most part, I would agree that shorter is better past 50ish?? Oh boy, I can see myself in trouble already. This blog may be shuttin' down! Here is a for sure no-no. If I see any of you looking like this I will personally get out the scissors!

Alright, there's my two cents, now it's time for you all to add yours...

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Have Questions? Need Advice?

No question is too trivial. No question is too deep. (at least I don't think so) Whatever you want to know, please leave your question here in the comment section of this post. You can be anonymous, leave your name or make up a name, like I did. Once your question has been received, I will get to work on it and post it with my "wisdom" and advice as soon as possible. Don't look for the questions to appear here, wait for them in future posts.

Ask away.....