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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Notice Me Too

Dear Sadie,

I have a younger sister who everyone just loves. She's funny, outgoing, compassionate, talented, brave, and completely lovable. Sadly, I have almost none of those qualities. I'm shy, sarcastic, to some I probably look cold, and I have a whole lot of qualities that make others (even family) give my sister attention so much more. I'm a singer and I want to go into acting/singing but everyone tells my sister how wonderful she is and how amazing she'd be on shows like American Idol and being a Hollywood movie star when she's older...but that's something I want to pursue. (In case you're wondering, I am a teenager. No older.)

I know it's important to be yourself but how can I get attention being me? Should I work on trying bolder things? Try to change myself? Any advice you can give would be great. Thanks.

Oh, I am so glad to hear from a teen!! Love your question and love that you're willing to seek opinions from others. I bet there are lots of people out there that can relate. Maybe not wanting to sing and act, but feeling some "comparison" with siblings.

You ask a couple of really great questions. One of them, should you try to change yourself? To be honest, there are few things in the way you described yourself that lead me to believe that you're not happy with a couple of things about yourself. You say you are sarcastic and to some you probably look cold. You are describing ME!! I never felt like I fit in and to cover it up I was sarcastic and I did not talk easily with others. They thought I was a snob. Since you are aware of this, that would be the one thing I would try to work on. Try as hard as you can to be a bit more bold, fight the shyness and show people what it is that you love about yourself.

I imagine you are a very bright, outgoing, lovable person that just needs to take a leap of faith and show your "real" self. If you want to go after those things in life - being a singer/actor - GO FOR IT!! Don't let anything stop you.

We all crave attention. Even us "old people". But be sure that you're getting and attracting the right kind. Be yourself. Be your BEST self! Teen years are tough. I have a feeling you're going to be a great success. Hope you will keep in touch and keep asking questions.

What do the rest of you think? Let's help her out...


Anonymous said...

Sadie - I'm a younger sister too and your advice was spot on. I was always "___'s little sister" and in the way. I was shy. She was outgoing. Though we were less than 2 yrs apart in age, some of her friends resented me tagging along. While she didn't crave attention, she got it just the same. I, on the other hand, did everything I could to stay in the background. The only advice that I can offer to your young reader is not to get to the point where any attention (even negative) is better than none. It isn't. Pursue your dreams whether or not you feel you have their support. At the same time, don't be resentful towards them. Be loving, be proud and keep plugging along. Put your energy into not being sarcastic or standoffish, but in your determination to succeed. I'm certainly not saying take a backseat or put yourself in a corner. I'm saying shoot for the stars and your quiet quest to reach your goals will get you more attention than anything you could ever imagine. Don't give up the dream!!! Keep your eye on the prize and when you feel like your in someone elses shadow, pray. Jesus will always be your biggest fan!

Bonnelle Pagel said...

Hmmm... I relate to this one! I think it's easy sometimes for me to want to take a back seat and let others be "seen" and yet... it bothers me too. Being noticed... it's a need we all have at one time or another in our lives. What we're wanting is someone to notice us but what we really need is to hold on to the assurance that Jesus notices us... He delights in us... and sometimes when we get all the attention... it turns out to be rather intimidating too!

I encourage you to ask Jesus to show you how HE sees you and how HE wants you to be and then... walk in that identity... as His beautiful daughter.

I hope this makes sense! =)