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Wednesday, April 29, 2009

My Mother-in-Law Has Alzheimer's

Dear Sadie,

My MIL is 85 years old, has Alzheimer's and lives with my hubby and I. We are contemplating placing her in a Alzheimer's home. Should we do it?

Bless your heart for all you are doing for your mother-in-law. I cannot imagine how hard it must be for everyone!

Is the situation becoming too much for the two of you to handle on your own? Is it causing strife at home? Does your mother-in-law need more medical care?

These are all questions that come to my mind. Honestly, I see nothing wrong with getting her into a facility that is suited to care for someone with Alzheimer's. (Even if you are still able to care for her in your home) You should feel no guilt for considering this! I would hope if there are other family members, that they would give you their full support in whatever decision is made.

Maybe there are other readers out there who have been in similar situations and can encourage you. Whatever choice you make, you are to be commended for all that you have done!!



Cheri' said...

My MIL also has Alzheimer's and we kept her in our home for a period of time, but ended up placing her in a nursing home due to our inability to handle some of the issues related to this disease

As a result of her memory loss and the progression of the disease she was extremely fearful much of the time and also hardly ever slept. Due to this and many other factors we ended up placing her in a nursing home in her home town.

She is very happy there and her disease has slowed down -- possibly because of their great care and the regular schedule they provide.When we visit we enjoy seeing her and she enjoys seeing us, but is getting so she doesn't know us anymore.

Alzheimer's is a very hard thing to deal with - for the person who has it and for those who love them; so don't feel badly about moving her to a place where they are prepared and equipped to handle the disease. You will be more rested and emotionally ready to see her and be with her. She will probably be more peaceful there due to the regular schedule they are able to offer.

We asked the Lord to help us know what to do and are very sure this was His plan for her and for us.

Paula (SweetPea) said...

I agree. Alzheimer's is such a tricky disease. One could say that it would even be "dangerous" to keep such patient in the home...I say this if the caregivers cannot watch them 24 hrs. I know some get up in the middle of the night and can wonder out. I commend the care thusfar and see no reason and no guilt in placing MIL in a facility specialized to better care for the MIL...even better care than family can do at times. If the MIL were able to think clearly she definitely would not like to know she is weighing heavy on her son and dil's marriage.

Beautiful Pear Tree Lane said...

I am so touched by this post and the responses!

Bonnelle Pagel said...

My mom had Alzheimer's and it was a tough day when my dad finally realized he needed to put her in a home. Valiantly he had cared for her every need for many years but it came to a point where he was concerned for her safety because she would wander out at night or have halllucinations. It's hard to do but most of the time it becomes a necessary thing to do for everyone's sake.

Ask the Lord for wisdom and He is gracious to provide it.