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Wednesday, June 17, 2009

My Husband and Son, What to Do??

Dear Sadie,

How do I get my point across to my husband that he needs to act like the adult in his relationship with our oldest son (14 years old)? The two of them constantly butt heads, and my hubby acts as immature as our son during the battles. I'm always the peace maker, and I don't think that's right or fair to me. I want the two of them to work on their relationship, but every time I discuss this with my husband, he gets mad because he thinks I'm not backing him up. I'm torn between being a good wife who supports her husband and a good mom who protects her child's feelings and self-esteem. Help!

Oh boy, does this one hit close to home for me. When my son was younger, he and his dad did almost everything together. However, the older he got, the less they seemed to have in common. This bothered both of them and they didn't know how to relate. Often times, they argued like they were peers or completely ignored each other. Honestly, I think it might be a common issue.

You are right to know that you should not be the peace maker all the time as it will seem as if you are taking sides. I think I say this every time, but this conversation with your husband needs to happen during a "neutral" time, not when there has been recent conflict between the two of them. Could you suggest some activities that they might enjoy doing together? Does your son talk with you about this? Does he mention that it bothers him?

As a Christian I believe that your husband must come first. That can sure be hard. Pray, pray and pray some more that God would give you all wisdom. That God would build the relationship that He wants between your son and your husband.

Your family is blessed to have you!

If any of you reading have any experience with this or have some words of advice, please leave a comment!

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